We have been dating for the last four years with, pretty much, nothing to show for it. At the end of four years between us there has only been one proper relationship that died, and only a few glimpses of hope in a string of dating disasters. From bad kissers and dressers, dull conversationists and stalkers, to men who simply disappear after a great date, or happen to live in San Diego. As more and more people around us begin to pair up and even, god forbid, get engaged, we have to ask ourselves: is there something wrong with us?
We think we are pretty normal girls ... we look nice when we go out, we can talk to guys, we can make and share a joke, we don't smell weird or have bad teeth - does this not make us dateable? Even though four years and a heck of alot of dating experience has passed, we still feel like we're back at square one. But with age also comes a teensy bit of wisdom, and we've composed a few reasons as to why we might be un-dateable:
1. We go to the wrong places - we've done the club and pub circuit, where else do we meet men? Do we follow Cleo's advice and join a martial arts class?
2. We dress too fashionably - experience has showed us that guys don't necessarily like what is fashionable, so at what point does fashion make you a freak? Should we shed our head-scarves, over-sized jewellery and heels for jeans and a t-shirt?
3. We are too unapproachable - sitting in a big group of girls is probably not the best invitation, but where do you draw the line between 'no friends' and 'too many friends'?
4. We are too loud and like to have fun - generally this would seem like an attractive quality, but it seems to work against us. Is toning ourselves down the answer?
5. We act too keen - we exchange numbers, sometimes go on a date and then might text a guy a few days later, but does this make us seem like stalkers?
6. Our standards are too high - our friends tell us that we are 'too good' for the guy that only calls once a week, but are we expecting too much?
Your guess is as good as ours. Any thoughts or suggestions?
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Hey,
ReplyDeleteAs a guy who prefers women with a bit of depth and character, may I offer you my insight from my personal perspective:
Most of the women that I've met have been through normal day to day situations, such as chatting in a bookstore, or at work. I believe that this gives things a more "reliable" start than if you met someone in a club.
There is nothing wrong with women starting a conversation, guys can be pretty oblivious and dumb sometimes, not picking up indirect cues that a woman is interested in them, and by starting a chat, it makes the guy think "ah, she IS interested in me" rather than "is she looking at me because I have a bogey on my face/is she looking past me/should I talk to her and risk looking like a numpty etc..."
There is nothing wrong in having high standards, this works both ways: if a guy/gal can't be bothered to call more than once a week, do you really want to invest your precious time in getting to know someone this flaky? Do we have to subject ourselves to being messed around or have we got the right to say now hang on, there is a line between being too keen and playing hard to get. If one likes games then its at their own peril, but I think life is too short to waste.
If you like someone, then get on with it and enjoy yourselves, no point in faffing around.