How do you know they like you?

Both of us are currently being faced with very confusing dating situations.

Scenario one: A few months ago Betty met Frank through a friend on Facebook. The two hit it off and after a couple of arranged get-togethers they are now in dating mode. Sounds promising? Here lies the problem: When Frank was overseas he confessed he liked Betty but now that he is back in Oz is less willing to admit his feelings. More importantly, he has substituted courtship and wooing for low-effort, casual dates. So Betty wants to know, is she potential girlfriend material or a booty call?

Scenario two: Veronica and Charlie have been "flirty-friends" for a couple of years. Previously, Charlie confessed he liked Veronica and only now has Veronica decided she too likes Charlie. After a few drinks on the weekend, they became engaged in some flirty text messaging and decided they should hang out for real. A few days later, Veronica bit the bullet and asked Charlie on a date. She even let him pick the time and venue. He replied that he was very keen but several days later he has yet to follow through. So Veronica wants to know, does Charlie actually like her or is he just a serial flirt?

Why do guys do this? To begin with, they show all of the signs that they are into you but when it comes to the crunch they never follow through. Our entire dating history is riddled with this same situation over and over again. He meets you and asks you out repeatedly but after a week of dating you never hear from him again. He asks you to meet him at a club but when you arrive he is hooking up with another chick. He asks you out on dates that never eventuate and when you finally meet he is distant and rude. He is your long, lost crush and when you finally start dating and crumple the sheets he runs for the hills and you never hear from him again. It's fine to listen to your girlfriends who say "he's not worth it" but it's emotionally exhausting getting on the rollercoaster of liking someone when they just throw it away in the end.

Are we missing the "leave your personal belongings" sign and jumping on the rollercoaster with our sunglasses still on, only to have them fly off when we turn upside-down? In other words, when we think they like us (or like us as much as we like them) are we just fooling ourselves? Are we misreading all of the signs?

Don't get us wrong, we enjoy the feelings of being on the rollercoaster - the butterflies when you begin, the mystery of the ascent on a big hill, the thrill of the drop and the overall rush. But when the ride is over and you look at your photo, in hindsight you wish you knew when it was being taken so you could've smiled. A little warning sign would have helped, in the same way that a couple of gestures of I like (or I don't like) you would help when you're dating. Whether we misread it or not, a sign is better than no sign at all. We don't want to spend the rest of our dating years guessing.

So as for Betty and Veronica, what can be done? Something as simple as a fancy date or not spending an entire afternoon hooking up would be Frank's way of showing he likes Betty. Otherwise he should stop acting like he does like her. Meanwhile, Veronica has put herself out there and if Charlie likes her he should give her some indication back. If he doesn't, he should stop acting so keen. The point is, if a guy doesn't like a girl he should just show it ... we're not going to freak out!

(Charlie and Frank, please call us!)